Tuesday, April 14, 2009

i've got nothing. yet so much has happened. here's a slight recap.

courtney had a broken ankle. she had surgery, and two screws later, should be doing fine...

don (my mother's boyfriend) was rushed to the hospital at 1am. he almost slipped into coma due to diabetes complications.

i made my poor step mother feel like shit. i forgot to tell her i'm allergic to cinnamon...

frankie made me proud the other day. this one's actually pretty funny. i refuse to pick up my dog's shit. i know, i know... but c'mon, its fucking gross. so, anyways, we go over to lake eola. where, i'm sure i'll have to at some point pick up after him. so, we park the car, and start our little journey to the lake. suddenly frankie creeps into the bushes. and all you can see is his little ears sticking out from the inside of a bush. the dog is shitting. he's literally shitting in this bush, and nobody can see him. GENIUS.
i don't think this is the time to get completely honest. i don't know how comfortable i am with full disclosure. i will, slowly, in my own time begin to open up a little. i will carefully peel back the layers and show you who i am. when i'm ready, i will let you in, and i will give you everything you could ever want from me. from another human. and i will share myself, and my life with you. and when you feel ready, you will do the same. we will toss our armour and it will be safe. and nobody else will ever know what happened or what was said. and it will be a beautiful dance. to our song.

but for now, i will be quiet. i will wait and see. i will sit pretty still and not make a move. i will be mindful and compassionate. exercising patience daily will only make me better at it. and i will take my time and wait for that rainbow. and listen to the sounds i hear fluttering around me. i will be honest with my inner voice, and not make a move. the stillness will fulfill me.

but not yet. i'll say when.


  1. sometimes your blog is so beautiful it makes me cry. i love you.


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