Sunday, June 9, 2013
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Sunday, April 28, 2013
met someone the other night, and i don't say this often, this person was completely full of shit. i am the type of person who gives everyone a chance. i don't care who you are, where you come from, or anything like that. just be real. be honest and please, pretty please, don't be full of shit. i have never in my life been so uncomfortable, listening to stories that weren't his to tell, embellishments that had no one fooled, details that seemed just a little out of reach. now, before i appear as a terrible bitch, i do feel bad for this guy. i mean, clearly you're fighting a demon that is in all of us, and some of us bullshit, while others remain silent. i personally opt for the latter. and while my compassion runs deep, and i tend to feel the weight of the world at times, and i too also feel it is unbearable, i don't get this type of behaviour. its toxic, and transparent and i just can't. i suppose the things we tend to dislike in others is usually the things we actually dislike about ourselves. so maybe i saw a little bit of me in him. and i hated it. i think i've been in his shoes, and perhaps i tend to walk a few strides in them as well. we have to try to be better than that. we have to be honest. i have to be honest. there is a part of me that would love to run away and find solitude. every time i go back there, i realize how much we do need each other, even if its hard to bare. we are all in this together. though at times i want to face it alone. i find comfort in those days of solitude. i turn so inward that i can't get out. that i have to just push anyone who is still around me away. i just burrow deeper within, and just hold on to it. the darkness in all of us runs deep, and its a sad place, with reminders of the things we wanted, the things we lost and those things that keep bringing us back there. its a struggle that we all must face, and i don't envy those who build up these bullshit walls to keep themselves from facing their own darkness. it will come one day, and it will hurt, but it will also pass.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
feeling bored these days. work is exciting, but the rest of it seems a little less enthused... could use a good night out, or a great conversation with a great friend. maybe its the change in weather. the pending doom of the summer heat has me feeling a bit unexcited. would love a good shake up, a little danger, or maybe just some good old fashioned fun. any takers?